So I lied

I really didn't plan to blog this week, but I have a funny* story to relate.

As I mentioned previously this is the week candidates qualify to run for office in Louisiana. A three day period that I have been planning on for over four years, so of course it caught me completely unawares.

First, let me mention that I have started listening to talk radio over the past few years. There is an afternoon program called the Jim Engster show that covers Louisiana politics among other things.

On Tuesday I was sitting in the Lobby of the building where the East Baton Rouge Parish Clerk of Court has a branch office, waiting to accost candidates who qualified. (Don't ask how that worked out for me.)

As I was watching the elevators and trying my best not to look like a creepy stalker who is about to be on the six o'clock new, I noticed a guy walking across the lobby who, I thought, looked a lot like Jim Engster. I even looked him up on my phone. There was quite a resemblance but the publicity picture was smiling. I thought to myself "surely his studio isn't in THIS building. Surely I would have known that." (And I almost NEVER call myself Shirley.)

I saw this guy a couple more times during the day. He even walked by and spoke to me. I'm sure he was trying to figure out what the creepy bald dude was doing in his lobby.

Anyway, as I left for the day, I noticed a paper sign on a glass door that said "Jim Engster Show Guests use main entrance" (or words to that effect.) Then I listened to him on the way home.

Now, (it's Thursday afternoon,) I'm about to head back over there from McDonald's and continue beating my head against that wall. I won't see Jim Engster because he has a guest host this afternoon.

So until my next blog, you kids get off my lawn!

*Funny is a subjective term. In this context read "something I find mildly amusing."

Opus 100

That was the title of Isaac Asimov's 100th published book. I am no Asimov. However, two weeks ago, when I scheduled "Last Week's Blog," I realized that it would be my 99th published blog post. And, since I stole that title from the procrastinators' newsletter I figured this time I'd steal from the best.

While I was writing that 99th post I browsed through some other blogs, and realized that most had not been updated for a couple of years, and that they probably average around a dozen posts each. I guess that makes me officially a "prolific blogger." A hundred blog posts without saying anything worth reading must be SOME kind of record.

As I have mentioned previously, I am attempting to start a consulting business filing campaign finance reports for candidates for public office in Louisiana. Qualifying for the October election is Tuesday through Thursday of next week. I hope to be very busy by next Friday, and 100 blogs seems like a good time to take a break.

Back in February I started a blog about Campaign Finance. I guess if I do find time for blogging the next couple of months, I should do it there. I haven't posted anything there since looking at the Annual Reports for Gubernatorial Candidates. I'll try to add a new one before I post this.

If you, or anyone you know, will be running for office this fall, I would appreciate your consideration of my services. I now have a website at www.genedawson.com with all my contact information and the services I offer.

I have also received my certification as a Third Party Ethics Trainer, and will be conducting two Ethics Training Seminars on Saturday September 12th. That information is also available at my website.

So I'll blog again when this nonsense is over, hopefully by the end of the year. Until then you kids GET OFF MY LAWN!

I am out standing in my field.

Last Week's Blog

I actually started on my main topic two weeks ago, but I had already planned the Chicken Wing post, so I was going to do this last week. But I didn't, so I'm doing it now. It started out as a rant, but I think I've calmed down. We'll see how it goes. I had also thought of some "this week" stuff to throw in, but it escapes me at the moment. Perhaps it will come to me before the final draft.

Okay, as I started cleaning up the second draft I thought I remembered my "this week" stuff, but it's gone again. It's hell gettin' old. But it's around here somewhere, it even flitted through my brain as I was typing the last sentence, so I'm sure if I keep looking it'll turn up.

Ah HAH! It's not much, but it's something. It may be all I had. I'll type it out and see what I get. I can always revert to the first draft. But the title of this week's blog (which of course is "Last Week's Blog,") reminds me (and was subconsciously inspired by) an organization called the Procrastinators' Club International (which, 30 years ago at least, published "Last Month's Newsletter.") I have yet to find anything I can identify as a club website, but I'm sure they'll get around to it. There is what looks to me like a 90s style newgroup at http://procrastinators.org/, which seems appropriate, along with the most recent post dated 1/20/2014.

The best information I can find in a cursory Internet search indicates the club was founded in 1956, but I learned of it about 50 years ago on a TV game show called "To Tell The Truth," and decided at that time that I would join just as soon as I got around to it.

I guess I should get around to it, but I have a plan. If I can ever discover what a Life Membership costs, I want to purchase one in my will. That should earn me a place in Procrastination History (if anyone ever gets around to writing it.)

Okay, so much for the second draft. I think I'll keep it. The first paragraph, and everything after this one (with one minor edit) are straight from the first draft. I need to find a picture for this, but other than that I think I'm finished.

Turner Field
Image added 8/23/2015

Now let me gripe about Google Maps. In spite of this rant, it's still my choice of navigation, and I freely admit any problems I've had with it are my fault. I know full well that I should check all the directions before setting out. But, being lazy, I usually don't.

Two weeks ago I went to visit my brother in Conyers, Georgia. (This is the brother I previously visited in the-middle-of-nowhere Alabama.) I had planned to go over on Thursday but something came up, so Friday morning I put his address into the Google Maps app on my iPhone, and took off.

So I start off fine, and I'm cruising east down Interstate 20, and somewhere around Bessemer, Alabama Google tells me to take I-459. Being a 21st Century Man I do as I'm told by the cold, female voice of The Computer. (After all, What Would Kirk Do?) But being me I reach over and pick up the phone, just to check, and see a pop-up message that says something to the effect of (I can't get it back of course) "Save an hour, stay on 20!"

Gee, thanks. That might have been helpful before I took the exit YOU TOLD ME TO TAKE!!!

Now that I'm sitting calmly at a computer, as opposed to driving down an Interstate Highway looking at a phone, I can see that 459 is the bypass around Birmingham (and probably the better route, judging from the stories I've heard about driving through Birmingham) but I was clueless at the time. I had an Emotionless Feminine Computer Voice telling me what to do and 29.3 miles later I'm merging onto I-20 East toward Atlanta. I'm good, just under the impression that I will arrive an hour later than I could have.

So I cruise along toward Atlanta, safe in the hands of The Computer, under the impression that Conyers is a suburb of Atlanta (which it is, about 15 miles on the other side) and vaguely aware that Atlanta is big. (Yes, I've been there before, but I've slept since then.)

So I'm coming into Atlanta (and I'm getting old, my hearing ain't what it used to be, especially for Cold Feminine Computer Voices) and the phone says something that sounds to me like "use the right three lanes to keep left," so I look at the phone and see a message about the exit I'm about to pass, so I exit. My fault. Should have read the directions before I left. But I blame Google. (I'm a man, that's what I do.)

But now she begins to babble about making turns that don't exist, so I get to a light and let her calm down and direct me back to the freeway. I think she just wanted me to see Turner Field (and I'm just grateful it wasn't a game day.)

And I got to Conyers without further incident (worth mentioning anyway.) Thus endeth the first draft of last week's blog. Perhaps I'll think of what I wanted to say this week in time for a second draft. Perhaps not. Either way...

YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!

28 Wings

That's all I can eat.

The wings win

All I should eat however, I place around 24.

I mentioned last week that Wednesday July 29th was National Chicken Wing Day. I celebrated at my favorite place to eat wings.*

I have indicated before (May 25, 2012; July 6, 2012) that I would like to be a restaurant critic. Why should I let my total lack of qualifications stop me? It hasn't stopped me from blogging. What I should probably try is "Breastaurant Critic." (Actually I may be overqualified for that.)

But, back to my favorite place to eat wings, Hooters.

I have heard a lot of jokes about Hooters Girls. Even Hooters makes fun of Hooters Girls. But, let me state for the record that they are some of the hardest working waitresses in the business.

As you can probably guess, on National Chicken Wing Day, they were particularly busy. Hooters observed the occasion with an All You Can Eat Wingsday. That's how I know that 28 is all I can eat (and all I should is somewhat lower.) And I want to applaud the chain for conspicuously posting the All You Can Eat Rules (which were clearly and plainly written, but unfortunately don't appear to be on the Internet so I'll have to go by memory.) Eight wings to an order, one flavor per order, no sharing, no doggie bag. Usual AYCE stuff.

Back in the Good Old Days they only had 3 flavors: mild, medium, and hot. I always ordered mine hot. And naked. (That's without all the breading. My wife still gives me "that look" when I order.) The last time I remember eating wings there they had added buffalo, 3 mile island and 911. (I think those were added before 2001, so 911 is a reference to the emergency phone number, not the World Trade Center.)

There are more than 6 flavors now. The ones listed on the "Full Menu" at hooters.com don't match the menu I had on National Chicken Wing Day, so once again I'm going from memory. The "hotness" is indicated by little flames by the names. Hottest on the menu is "Spicy Garlic." Five flames.

When my waitress, Shelbie, came to take my order I asked "What is the hottest?" She of course replied "Spicy Garlic." I might as well start there, I reasoned. I'm only having one beer and I'll probably need it for those.

I did.

It was a "different kind of hot." It really didn't burn my tongue or mouth at all. The taste was rather pleasant, from what I could tell, THROUGH MY BURNING LIPS!!! I was glad I ordered a large beer.

Shelbie stopped by to see how I was doing around the time I was finishing..., I'm gonna guess wing number six. I replied "I have told you my first lie." "Another beer?" she asked. "A small one." "What flavor next?" (Unlike most AYCE, she didn't make me finish the first order before placing the second.) I looked at the menu and chose "Habanero Barbecue." Three flames. Those were nothin'. I'm sure they were good, but I didn't notice because my lips were still on fire. The second beer helped.

I finished my sixteenth wing and second beer, and ordered an unsweetened tea and 8 lemon pepper rub wings. Palette cleanser. They were good. At 24 wings, my $15 all you can eat was now officially a "good deal," compared with 20 wings for $19.99 on the regular menu. Quit while you're ahead, right?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

As I was stuffing the last of the Lemon Pepper Rubbed Wings down my gullet, Shelbie came by. "One more order?" She asked. I nodded. I'm not sure I could speak. No, of course I could, because I managed to order "Chipotle Honey."

Shelbie pretends to deliver my final order of wings.

I may have mentioned this was a busy day at Hooters. My last order was delivered by a manager. At least it was an attractive one (and not one of the guys.) I felt like I was lucky to have the first three orders delivered by my waitress, and she did stop by to check on me. I asked her to pose with my order for the above picture (and she happily obliged as you can see.) If you bother to count the wings you'll see there are only 7. I was already one wing in when she came by, so I disposed of the bones and used the rest as a clever subterfuge to take her picture.

Then I managed to eat 3 more before conceding defeat. And that's how I celebrated National Chicken Wing Day. Now you kids get off my lawn.

*It's my favorite place to eat wings, not my favorite wings. Their wings are good, better than most, but not my favorite. Full disclosure, I haven't tried the wings at Twin Peaks yet.

Back in the Saddle

I'm going over the five blogs I've written since I retired, to see what I've mentioned but not gotten around to. I made a couple of references to the Louisiana Grand York Rite Sessions that were held in March. I'll just mention that I was elected Illustrious Grand Captain of the Guard. (With five bucks that'll get me a large cup of coffee at CC's.) But that's why I was representing the Most Illustrious Grand Master in my last post. (I just noticed that I didn't tell the Rainbow Girls to get off my lawn.)

A lot has happened in July. My mother passed away on the 10th. I was getting ready to drive to Alabama to see her one last time when I got the news. As I mentioned earlier, she was 97 so it was not unexpected.

Maxie Dawson

1918 - 2005

I said a lot has happened, but I can't recall much of it right now. This past Wednesday was National Chicken Wing Day. I'm planning to blog about that next week. (We'll see how that goes.)

Until then you kids get off my lawn.

Louisiana Rainbow Grand Assembly

This evening I am representing Most Illustrious Grand Master Donald Sonnier and the Grand Council of Cryptic Masons at the opening of the Louisiana Grand Assembly of the International Order of the Rainbow for Girls. 

One of Those Days

Yesterday was. But I'll get back to that in a minute.

First, about this blog. Looking back I see that this is only my fourth post since I retired. (It is also my first since the Grand York Rite Sessions, but I may get to that later.) I also see that the last 3 have had 5 views each. If you take out mine, and a couple of masochists, I think that leaves bots. I just re-read them and, as usual, didn't have much to say anyway, so I don't suppose I can blame anyone for thinking I retired from blogging too, it sorta looks like I did. Okay, that's enough of that (for now.)

My aunt passed away last Sunday. She was 93, my Dad's oldest sister. His youngest sister is now the only one of his generation left. I would have liked to attend her funeral.

And that brings me back to yesterday. It was one of those days. Basically, I drove to Beaumont for an alternator. Thursday I had my oil changed and my tires rotated, and the car "checked out." They didn't find any problems (and specifically said the battery was "fine.") So I got on the road by 6 AM to drive to Anderson, Texas for my aunt's funeral. As I approached the first traffic light on my way out I noticed my battery light was on..., can you see where I'm going here? I can stop, wait for something to open, get it checked and definitely miss the funeral... OR ... I can take my chances.

You don't want to hear the rest of this whining. I have a new alternator.

Okay, I have nothing to count down to. I let my annual Birthday/Blog Anniversary blog and Letterman's retirement pass without comment. (I did apparently do a first draft on Letterman.) I haven't even followed up on the stuff I mentioned in my 3 blogs since retirement (maybe I'll do that next week?) I have a couple of Masonic things in Alexandria today, but the first is only a 10 minute drive from where I am now.

You kids get off my lawn!

As Usual

I have very little to say. I want to post something, since next Friday I will be tied up with the Louisiana Grand York Rite Sessions and probably have no time to blog.

I figure this is a good time to start promoting The Day the War Stopped, however.

Even though I have retired, I'm still getting jerked around by the State of Louisiana. I wrote the first draft of this while waiting for a call back. They did, in fact, call me back and (as far as I know) the problem is on its way to being fixed. (This is the State we're talking about.) I'll give them until next week before I whine about it here.

Speaking of whining, I would be interested in learning how the word "Priority" and the phrase "2-Day" are defined by the US Postal Service. And speaking of being retired, I have been for 19 days. That is even less entertaining, if that were possible, than it was last week. However, according to my Google stats, no one has read this blog since I retired (so I haven't gotten any complaints.) Letterman will retire in 75.

You kids get off my lawn!

Home Again

I got back last night. Mom is in rehab for 21 days. She's feeding herself and PT has her up and walking. (I haven't seen that, but the improvement is remarkable.) I'll head back over when that's up and see how things are going. 

I did spend a lot of time trying to write blog posts, but mainly for my other blog. I thought I could do five last week, but I barely did one. You can't exactly concentrate in a hospital or at a rehab center, and serious blogging takes more time than I had anticipated. (Being a smartass just seems to come naturally.)

I don't really have a lot to say today. I still want to go back and clean up some of my earlier posts. (I passed The Shed on my way home but didn't stop.)  You may have noticed that I did activate a Blogger layout and archive the earlier blog. I'm gonna play around with labels next.

That's enough rambling. I've been retired for 12 days. (Yep, that's as entertaining as ever.)

You kids get off my lawn.

The Best Laid Plans

Well, for 1024 days of this blog I planned to retire on 2/15/2015.  I guess that plan worked out okay. Friday was my final payday.  It looks like it was a pretty good one, I guess the last one should be.  I got my payment for annual leave (which I didn't expect for another month.)  That relieves a little anxiety.  In a couple of weeks I'll let you know how it's workin' out for me.

I had planned to blog daily for the last 10 days before I retired.  I only missed one day.  That's a  90% success rate, far bettter than I expected.

Let's look at some other plans.  I had planned for more than two years to have a Scorpion at Lucy's Retired Surfers' Bar on Third Street in Baton Rouge on Friday the 13th of February.  That didn't happen.  We'll see about Friday the 13th of March.  

I had planned to attend my first post retirement Ethics Board Meeting yesterday.  That didn't happen either. I had also planned to post this blog Friday night.  I guess that makes me 2 for 5.  (Still a better batting average than I would have expected.)

I started writing this on Saturday afternoon while sitting with my mother in a hospital in Selma, Alabama. She's 97, dehydrated, has a touch of bronchitis, and hadn't eaten for three days when my brother and sister-in-law called the ambulance to bring her here.  When I got here she wass doing better than I expected, but as I may have mentioned, she's 97.  She doesn't hear very well (did I mention she's 97?)  I'm 57 and I don't hear very well.  Anyway that doesn't make it easy to converse.

It is Sunday afternoon now, and I'm back at the hospital.  I got her to eat a few bites of lunch yesterday, and a little more today.  She has been more out of it today than yesterday.

Anyway, I'm going to give up on thinking of anything interesting to say and post this thing.

I have been retired for 7 days now.  (That's gonna get old fast.)  Letterman will retire in 87 days.  (That will too, but at least it can last no more than another 86 days.)  I'll spare you my more morbid countdowns.  It's only 18 days until the Grand York Rite Sessions in Baton Rouge.  I guess I need to get my reservations in the mail.

You kids get off my lawn.

ZERO!!!!!

I AM RETIRED!!!!!

I can now begin my post-retirement career. As I mentioned yesterday I spent over 16 years with the Louisiana Ethics Administration Program.  For more than 10 of those I was Chief Cook and Bottle Washer for the IT Department.  I was the IT Department.  Then it was decided there was too much work for one person and they needed somebody else to run it.

They were right, and that's the best thing that ever happened to me.  If I had been picked I would have been an "Agency Head," and I would be prohibited for 2 years from assisting anyone, for compensation, in a transaction with my former agency.  But I wasn't, and I'm not.

I just started a new blog, which should post at the same time this does.  You can find it at https://campaignfinancela.blogspot.com.  I created it under this Rasputin ID.  I made my other Google ID an author, but I think it still shows up as Rasputin.  I'll deal with it. 

What I really did for the Ethics Administration Program, both before and after they hired a real IT staff, was technical support for electronically filed Campaign Finance reports.  That's what my other blog will be about.

It's an election year here in Louisiana.  I have 16 years of experience with Campaign Finance reporting requirements and softward.  I'm available.  So if you're thinking about running for office, or you know someone who is, you might want to give me a call.

So, let me see... I've been retired since midnight, Letterman will retire in 94 days, I can reasonably expect to live another 8225.  (That's 22 years, 6 months, 8 days.  When I look at it in days it's really depressing, since I've been blogging for 1024 days.  But it is 710,640,000 seconds.  That doesn't help.)

You kids get off my lawn.

ONE!

This is my final day as a Classified Civil Servant, the end of a 25 year career.  At least LASERS says it's 25 years.  Their calculations work in the employee's favor.  That doesn't happen much in Civil Service (common knowledge to the contrary) but I feel I should give credit where credit is due.

Since I have just reminded myself that it has been a 25 year career, I hope you will indulge a little stroll down memory lane.  (I started the first draft of this about a quarter to ten this morning, intending that little stroll to be a brief recap of my civil service career.  By two in the afternoon it had turned out to be a memoir of my first interview.  It may show up around the 2nd of April, but right now I'm going to try to find my way back to the original path.)

I started with Civil Service on April 4th 1990, as a Human Resource Development Specialist (that's a trainer) for the Corrections Training Academy.  (We trained Correctional Officers, not inmates.  Some people have trouble wrapping their minds around that.  Others aren't sure of the difference between the two.)  Anyway, I really enjoyed the job, but after about 2 years there were some budget cuts and my position was eliminated.  I had a few options, but the one I chose was to become a Correctional Officer and continue at the Academy doing pretty much the same thing I had been doing (except I had to shave and wear a uniform.)  That lasted for about a year, but around November of 1993 I had the opportunity to go to Big Charity Hospital in New Orleans as a Network Technician.  

(I see another path leading off to the side here, but I'm going to try to stay on the main road.)

I found a semi-furnished, relatively inexpensive one bedroom apartment in the French Quarter, a short 15 block stroll from Big Charity, and started learning IT.  (Yes, started learning, but that story is down the path I just avoided.)  I stayed there for a little over 5 years (or as I counted time at the time, 6 Mardi Gras.)

There were political changes in the wind again, and I began looking for someplace to go.  I had over 7 years in Civil Service and I wanted to get my 10 in so I would be vested in the retirement system.  (Nobody 'splained to me back then that I coulda bought five.)  I didn't have much luck until mid-1998, when I got an inquiry from the Louisiana Ethics Administration Program.  I went to Baton Rouge for an interview, and had a good feeling about it.  (I started to compare it to my interview at Angola, but that story is down the first side path, you probably won't hear it 'til later.  I also seem to have failed to mention HERE that the Corrections Academy is located at the Louisiana State Penitentiary at Angola.  April.)

Anyway, back at Big Charity..., I had an office.  I had been detailed as Network Technician Supervisor for a year.  The detail expired, but I kept the duties.  So it goes.  I was in the aforesaid office and my phone rang.  It was JoAnn Johnson, Executive Secretary of the Ethics Board, asking when I could start.  Actually she asked if I would take the job, and I said yes.  When I hung up the phone I felt a great sense of relief.  Since I had no idea what I was getting into, which should have been stressful, I knew I had made the right decision.

As I said, JoAnn asked when I could start.  I had a bunch of stuff I was involved in at Big Charity.  Ethics had a problem: they had one IT person (actually, she was an investigator who liked computers, had taken on the duties, and learned enough to get a private sector IT job before the Ethics Board managed to get an IT position) who was leaving in a couple of weeks.

Everyone needs to know the HR people.  There is always one who knows how to do what needs to be done.  I went to the HR Director at Big Charity to see what I could do.  I wanted to give them 2 weeks, but I needed to spend a week learning the Ethics systems from someone who'd be gone by then.

SO..., on July 1, 1998 (start of the fiscal year is always nice) I started at the Ethics Administration Program, learning from Betty, who would be leaving at the end of the week.  There were a couple of others leaving then too.  (I also learned that a relative of mine had left a couple of months before I got there.)  Anyway I spent a week at Ethics, then went back to Big Charity for two more weeks before settling into Ethics for good.

More so than I had planned.  I remember telling them when I got there my plan was to make my 10 years, get vested in the retirement system, then find an IT job in the private sector.  That was 6072 days ago.  (Not counting today.  That's 16 years, 7 months, 13 days.)

So, even though I've been with Civil Service for 24 years, 10 months, 10 days LASERS rounds that up to 25 years, and at midnight tonight I will be retired.

YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!

(And Happy Valentine's Day!)

Two

After I posted the last blog I got about 3 hours sleep.  I started writing this about 9:30 Thursday morning.  

Yesterday I told the horses to get off my lawn, so I thought I might explain that.  Apparently Monday night there were a couple of horses running around my yard.

It's Friday the Thirteenth, which would be my last day at work, if I was there.  I have been planning for more than 2 years to have a drink on Third Street tonight, but I don't think I will.  Maybe next Friday.

Two days from now I'll be retired.

GET OFF MY LAWN!!

Three

I missed "Four."  I should have known I couldn't do ten straight.  Yesterday was busy.  Today will be too.  I probably won't have time to blog so I'm doing it now.  It's almost 1:30 in the morning, I was tossing and turning, and remembered I didn't write a blog before midnight.  I didn't have anything to say, then or now, but as I've said ad nauseum, that never seems to stop me.

And now it's after 1:30 and I can't get Blogger to load.  Oh well, I'll post this later today.  You oughtta be asleep now anyway.

But three days from now I'll be retired.  (And hopefully asleep.)

YOU HORSES GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

Five

I almost forgot.  (Me, forgettin' to blog.  Whoda thunkit?)  I got nothin' to say.  It's 4 o'clock now, I might not get this posted on time.  Oh well, I will by midnight.  (I hope.)

I've been blogging for 1019 day.  You'd think I'd come up with SOMETHING worth saying in that time.  Nope.  I scrolled all the way back to the first one.  Not a darned thing.

In that first one I did make a few obscure references to amuse myself.  I'm not sure whether anybody else got 'em or not.  I do notice that I assumed a morbid tone from the very beginning.

Okay, my usual publication time has come and gone.  I've been reading from the beginning.  (I skipped the movie review, and my two-part whine on identity theft.  There's only so much punishment I can take.)  I'm kind of surprised at the number of typos that slipped by me.  I didn't find the first 2 or three to be a total embarrassment, either.

Okay, I just went through the first 14.  Minus the three I admitted to skipping, that means I just read 11 of my own blog posts in their entirity.  What's wrong with me?

(Please, don't answer that last question.  We don't have the time.)

And I still don't have anything interesting to say, but five days from now I will be retired.

YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!

Six

It's Monday morning.  I guess I'm going to have to get used to not going to work.  Maybe I'll blog instead.  I figure Monday will be a good day to blog about politics, or my post-retirement career.

Let's see, what subjects have I threatened to cover?  Religion, Politics, Freemasonry..., and of course I'll continue to be a smartass.  And whine a lot.  What else?

Technology, there's another subject.  I can do a lot of whining there.  For example, I have an iPhone 4.  (Yes, I know the 6 is out.)  I use an app from Chase to keep up with my bank account.  Recently I tried to check my balance, and was told I had to upgrade to the latest app.  That didn't bother me much, since it's a banking app and security is pretty important, but I couldn't upgrade the app until I upgraded iOS.

I really dislike iOS 7.  No, that's not true, I HATE iOS 7.  I don't understand why these technology vendors think it's a good idea to constantly change user interfaces.  Different is not the same as better.  Different is not even necessarily the same as new.

Oh well, that's the sort of whining you can look forward to.  Excited?  Me neither.

But I will be retired 6 days from now.

GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!

Seven

It's Sunday.  A week from now I'll be retired.  (And it looks like I may have this posted at the usual time.)  If I start Writing multiple blogs, I think that on Sundays I'll blog about serious things.  Like Religion.  Or Masonry.

I may have mentioned somewhere along the way that I'm a Mason.  I have a card that says "Take a Good Look at YOURSELF * You're SomeBody's IMPRESSION Of MASONRY."  (I use it as a book mark in a "Masonic Lectures" booklet.  It's currently marking the Fellow Craft Lecture.  I should probably be studying that instead of writing this.)

In his first message to the membership, our newly installed Grand Master has said:  "You need to examine your reason(s) for becoming a Mason and how you live your life and practice the purpose and lessons of Masonry.... Others should see Masonry through you and how you act."

No pressure there....

In a way I regret ever mentioning it.  I want to be my usual smartass self in this blog.  But since I'm known to be a Mason, I have to give more consideration to what I say.  I'm not even sure expressions like "smartass" are appropriate.  But that's who I am.  Then, Masonry is a big part of who I am.  I couldn't be me in this blog if I left it out.  I think I've also mentioned that I'm pretty good at being a bad example.

There are two things we don't discuss in Lodge:  Religion and Politics.  As I said yesterday I'm looking forward to blogging about Religion and Politics.  We'll see how that works out.  Actually, the forbidden subjects would be more accurately described as SECTARIAN Religion and PARTISAN Politics, and the reason they are forbidden is their tendency to disrupt the peace and harmony of the Lodge.  As I say, we'll see.

Anyway, I will be retired in seven days.  YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!!

Eight

Okay, so much for posting this at 4:45 PM.  It's 11:20.  I never did think of anything interesting to say.  I was going to finish tomorrow's blog and set it to post at midnight.  Best laid plans ....

Last thing on Letterman.  I promise.  (Unless I start counting down to his retirement,  8 days from now.)  I can't even remember whether I watched him last night.  I don't think I did.  I won't watch tonight..., it's Saturday.

I have threatened to clean this thing up, archive the old stuff, maybe even correct some errors.  I'll try to do that when I retire.

Which will be in 8 days.

YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!!!

Nine

I set yesterday's blog to post at 4:45 PM, but apparently while I fought to get the countdown widget to work it reverted to draft.  I clicked "Publish" around 10 PM, but it still said "4:45 PM" when my screen went blue.  Maybe it did publish on schedule and my screen wouldn't refresh.  

Then I started working on the first draft of this blog (at 10:23 PM) with every intention of setting it to post at 4:45.  It is now 8:12 PM.  Oh, well.

I did the first draft of this while watching Letterman.  I mentioned earlier that I used to be a fan.  I took about 10 years off, but I don't seem to have missed anything.  (Okay, Marty Short was pretty funny, but he always was.)  I just can't ignore Dave's left-wing slant any more.  Of course Colbert will be far worse, but I'll never know.  I may watch Dave until the end though, just for old times' sake.

When I was trying to get the widget to work yesterday, and didn't think I was going to, I did a Google image search for "Phil Donohue Countdown Calender," and couldn't find a single one.  Go figger.  When I search "phil donahue countdown calendar" I get 5 pictures: 1 of Dave, 1 of Dave with Bill Murray (go figger,) two guys I don't recognize and a Late Night with David Letterman logo.  (Remember Late Night was his old NBC show, but that's where he was when he did the countdown calendar.)

(Am I obsessing on this?)

When I break the search term into "phil donahue" "countdown calendar" I get a bunch of stuff, most of it ragging on George W. Bush.  There are also a lot of pictures of Charles Grodin, and one of Regis Philbin.  Ain't the interwebs great?

Maybe in 9 days I'll start counting down to Dave's retirement 103 days from now.  

YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!!!!

The Countdown begins....

I can retire in ten days.

I'm going to try blogging daily until then.  Wish me luck.

Monday night I watched Letterman for about the fourth time in the last decade.  (I used to be a fan.)  I did laugh while Jack Hannah was on.  But during the top ten list, I was thinking about how it originated as a replacement for the Phil Donohue Countdown Calendar.  (I told you I used to be a fan.)

I'm in the same boat.  I've been wondering what I'll do when I don't have a retirement date to count down to.  I guess I'll think of something.

Once my retirement becomes official, I will no longer be restricted by civil service rules.  As I've said before, this is supposed to be my "smart ass" blog.  I'm thinking about starting other blogs for other purposes (religion and politics, for example.)  If I can pull of blogging ten days in a row, we'll see where that goes.

If I'm going to blog ten days in a row, I guess I should save something for tomorrow.

In case I didn't mention it, I can retire in 10 days.  Now you kids GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

Happy New Year?

I haven't blogged yet this year. I've been meaning to.  In my last post I said a lot about what day it was, and didn't even mention it was St. John the Evangelist's Day. (That's an important Masonic holiday, btw.)

Now it's about a quarter past nine on Friday night and I'm in Alexandria. Just got back from the Grand Master's Banquet. Heard a very interesting talk by the Sovereign Grand Commander of the Scottish Rite, Southern Jurisdiction. 

I really don't have anything to say, but I wanted to post a blog before the end of January. 

I CAN RETIRE IN SIXTEEN DAYS!

You kids get off my lawn!